Living Forwards

"Life can only be understood backwards; 

but it must be lived forwards." ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Shocking.  I just happened to take a look at this neglected blog and saw that I haven't shared anything in nine months!

It's not that nothing has been going on.  It has, in fact, been a very full and rich year so far -- just not what I expected and sometimes difficult to put into words.  So I haven't!  Instead I have been busily living my life and often pondering what it is that I need to be learning along the way.

I think it was John Lennon who said "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."  My plan for this "golden orbit" was to be very intentional about cultivating gratitude in my life and sharing all that I want to celebrate.  Instead, I have found myself spending a lot of energy dealing with curveballs that I haven't always known how to celebrate -- much less share.

The main "curveballs" haven't been horrible or lift-threatening, but they were life-altering because they have required adjustments to my habits or plans.  For example, some allergic reactions have led me make significant dietary changes.  Policies related to the work that I do have led me to alter the course of my business development.  Shifting work and family responsibilities have affected how my husband and I negotiate day-to-day management of our household.  

Here are a few lessons that have been reinforced for me so far.

1. Be flexible -- It's great to have dreams, intentions, and goals but sometimes (often) life presents surprises.  If I can't bend, I'm likely to break.
2. Put first things first -- Give my greatest focus to the areas of my life that are my highest priorities.
3. Remember that there are many paths to the same objective -- The specifics of a plan aren't as important as the end objective.  When I run into roadblocks, it is an opportunity to be curious and determine it another strategy might be more appropriate.
4. Practice letting go --  When I am feeling overwhelmed, it is an opportunity to ask myself "What can I let go of that is not serving me and my calling?"
5. Look for the gold --  Even when I am uncomfortable, I have an opportunity to consider how situations are allowing me to grow and learn.

It's only two more months until the completion of this "orbit".  Who knows what other adventures and growth opportunities are still ahead?!

An important reminder in times of change...

Cultivating Gratitude

As I write this, I’m sitting on the couch in a comfortable, familiar room at my parents’ farm.  It’s early morning and the household is waking up.  We are wrapping up a lovely Thanksgiving holiday together and will soon be making the trip home.  We’ve shared a lot of memories together and made some new ones that we’ll enjoy again and again.  It has been time well spent.

I’ve been thinking about when and how we stop to relax, reflect, and celebrate the blessings in our lives.  I’m grateful for the wise traditions that prompt us to regularly do this together – from holidays, to weekly Sabbaths, to mealtime blessings – these moments create a context that encourage us cultivate gratitude.

Gratitude has been something that I’ve been intentionally nourishing as part of my golden orbit.  So far, it has been the consistent thread that has woven throughout my days over the last month or so – the practice of keeping a “gratitude journal”.  Before my birthday, I looked around until I found the perfect receptacle for my thoughts – a pretty red and gold volume - and I keep it by my bedside with a pen on top.  No matter what kind of day I’ve had, or what kind of mood I’m in, this practice prompts me to find five things (preferably new) for which I am grateful.

As expected, this practice has been a great anchor to connect me to all that is good in my life.  Like mindfulness, and other practices that we’re hearing more about these days – there is accumulating evidence that habits such as these make a difference in how we experience our lives.  I think of gratitude as a muscle that gets stronger with use.  Exercising my gratitude “muscle” allows me to access all of the positive emotions that accompany this practice – more quickly and more consistently.

There is a great TED talk by Shawn Achor that shares about the effect that gratitude journals and other practices like it have and how they can be used to enhance our lives.  If you have a few minutes, I highly recommend watching it.



Whether we are more persuaded by great spiritual teachers or academic research, the message is the same:  Gratitude is good for us, and gratitude can be cultivated.

I’d love to hear about your experiences.  How do you cultivate gratitude in your life?

Vulnerability

"In order for us to be connected, we have to allow ourselves to be seen." ~ Brené Brown.

This week, on my birthday, I had the opportunity to present to a women's group about the work that I do.  When I received the invitation, I hesitated briefly.  In my family, we have a tradition of taking time "off" for our birthdays.  But really, I thought, why should I take time off from doing something that I love?  I decided to jump in.

It turns out that it was a wonderful choice.  I was so inspired and energized by this great group of women!  They engaged with me during my presentation, and we had some meaningful discussion.  One of them had even seen on Facebook that it was my birthday, and surprised me with some flowers!  I was really touched and humbled by their hospitality and generous listening.

It also turned out to be great, because during the course of the meeting, one of the women, Marilyn Shannon, recommended a TED talk for us to watch.  It's about vulnerability, and it's about 20 minutes long, so I saved it for this laid-back Saturday morning.  Wow!  What a great way to start the day!

In the talk, Brené Brown talks about a lot of things that are important to our lives -- courage, connection, compassion, and authenticity.  I loved it when she referred to the original meaning of courage -- "to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart."

It isn't always easy to be who we are, instead of who we think everyone else wants us to be.  It turns out, though, that being vulnerable allows us access to the rich, full lives that we all long for.

All this made me think of my own willingness to be vulnerable.  As I started this blogging adventure, I have to admit that I felt self-conscious.  I really felt inspired about creating this celebration -- yet on some level, I also felt uncomfortable that it might seem uninteresting, or worse, self-centered.  On some level, those are all part of the old conversation that many, if not all of us, have -- "I'm not enough".

What will happen in my life, if I allow myself to be seen?  What would happen in yours?  Are we willing to find out?

Brené's excellent talk is just below, and I hope you'll make time to watch it.  When you do, I'd love to hear your reaction. What do you think?

Beginning

I'm not sure where the idea started, but it has been brewing for awhile...

At some point, I began to think about how each birthday represents a completion.  When we turn one, we have completed a year of life.  We continue to call ourselves the age of our last birthday, even though we've already started another journey around the sun.  Isn't that curious?

I am drawn to journeys more than destinations.  So perhaps that is why I made up my mind several months ago to reframe my approaching 50th birthday.  Yesterday, I celebrated a wonderful 49th birthday.  Today, I am beginning my 50th trip around the sun!  I am calling it my "golden orbit".  I intend to create a year of celebration -- not about me -- but about this amazing life that I am privileged to live.

I don't know what this celebration will look like, but I am inspired by the opportunity to inquire, and grateful for anyone who would like to join me.  The beauty is that we aren't bound by milestone birthdays.  We are bound only by our imaginations.  We actually could choose to create a golden orbit at any moment. For me, it centers on a question:  How will I discover (uncover) all that is golden in my life?  It promises to be a journey full of gratitude and inspiration.

As Lao Tzu said, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".  With a deep, grateful breath - I am taking the first one.

Wishing you well in your journey!